Hidden
Gems
4.
“What To Do with Memories”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
First Presbyterian Church
The Reverend Donald E. Ray
July 17, 2011
The
sermon title this morning may have led you to think that it would deal with what
to do when our memories seem to fail us. Those
times when we forget appointments, can’t remember what the meeting was to be
about when we get there, where did I put the car keys, park the car. I
considered addressing that matter, but I seem to have forgotten where I put my
notes. While I suspect, though we
may not wish to admit it, that subject would be appealing, it is not today’s
gem.
Some
time ago, I was asked to read this selection from Ecclesiastes as part of a
funeral service. I think the
family’s intent was to find some resolution with probably the most familiar of
the list - a time to be born, and a time
to die - and the death of their
loved one. To
interpret that fatalistically, as it often is, doesn’t fit with my experience
of the control, limited perhaps, but still a measure of determining their time
of death a person manages. My
apology if I have whet your appetite for this first in the list. That
will need wait for another day.
At
the time of that reading, the seventh in the list puzzled me. I
returned to it later to seek some solace for that bewilderment.
In
the midst of the profound observations of the rhythms of life--that there is;
A
time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A
time to break down, and a time to build up;
a
time to weep, and a time to laugh;
he
includes: a
time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
Our
family farm is evidently on a glacial plain. The
soil is littered with rocks form the size of a melon to boulders as big as a
tractor. At some point, folks
gathered stones together and built the house and barn. For
us, it was time to throw stones away. Two
days work with a dozer removed most of the boulders. It
took countless hours of manual labor, picking the smaller stones and hauling
them to the edge of the field to prepare the ground for tilling. It
was beneficial when over and done, but throwing away stones, gathering stones
hardly seems significant compared to:
A
time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A
time to keep silence, and a time to speak.
A
time for war, and a time for peace.
Gems
are often unrecognizable at first, hidden in formations of rock and mineral. Often,
they require shaping and polishing to be considered precious. So,
with a bit of poetic license, as I don’t really know what the author intended,
it occurred to me that the stones could be viewed as a metaphor. A
slab of granite or marble, polished and engraved becomes a memorial marker on a
cemetery plot or in a park. The
stones of Ecclesiastes could be a metaphor for memories.
This
gem I will identify as ‘opal’ because depending upon the conditions under
which it is formed, opal can range in color from clear through white, gray, red,
orange, yellow, green, blue, magenta, rose, pink, slate, olive, brown, to black.
Memories, depending upon the
conditions they are formed can take a variety of colors.
Memories
are the suitcases in which we pack the events, experiences, relationships along
with the images, and sounds and smells that accompany them. Some
of those memories, we label psychologically and emotionally as “baggage,”
the suitcases that don’t hold anything particularly useful for our life
journey, just the stuff that weights us down.
We
have little control over what we recall. Sometimes
memories just pop up leaving us wondering why now and here. Triggers
- an event or person - can surface memories. The
aching images of a loved one suffering through illness in their waning years;
the bitter heartbreak of things said and done that leave us scarred; the
failures that haunt us with disappointment about how our life has unfolded -
memories.
Some
lives may be too severely scarred, but for most of us, there is a time to do
what we can to manage those memories. “Forgive
and forget--forget and forgive,” has its limitation. “Forgetting”
does not always erase painful experiences from our memory. It
is here that the metaphor of throwing away stones for me becomes a gem. Picking
stones to clear the field, so many times it seemed I had picked up that stone
and thrown it in the cart before. Only
by throwing stone after stone, was the field cleared.
After
going through the turmoil of divorce, I traveled one day to
I
think the author of Ecclesiastes speaks the Spirit of God when he writes, a
time to throw away . . .
In
the Psalms, David prayed:
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
. .
Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; (Psalm 25:1,7)
Isaiah,
speaking the word of the Lord, writes;
Do
not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Do
not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace;
For
you will forget the shame of your youth,
And
the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more.
(Isaiah 54:4)
When
grief is fresh, hurt and disappointments are open wounds.
There is naught but to endure the pain through the slow process of
healing. But there is a time to
throw away. There is a time when our
prayer becomes, “O God, help me to let go of the memory and its pain and
weight that clings so closely and I hold so tight. Help
me to throw away this stone.”
A
time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together;
There
are many good memories collected along the course of our lives. Remembering
and sharing the stories by which we re-live visits to exotic places, sharing
times with special people, projects we have accomplished with great satisfaction
has a nostalgic flavor. We
reminisce, and if we have an audience, share those memories with great
enjoyment.
Given
the possibility that the author of Ecclesiastes was not writing metaphorically,
he may have been referring to gathering actual stones together. In
an era when people lived as nomads, travelling with their herds and flocks to
find water and grazing, when they were far from the
When
our memories bring images of the magnificent beauty in some place we have been,
as we glean those memories, we are moved invest the time and attention to
preserve and create beauty and wonder around us.
When our memories are of persons who have touched and shaped our lives in
positive ways, as we gather those memories, they move us to grow as better
persons ourselves. When our memories
are of a person we know whose needs are great and he or she has been on our mind
a lot, we are moved to seek the way we can do something to care for the one that
could benefit.
John,
writing his Gospel of Jesus, recalled what the Master had said seeking to
prepare the disciples for his imminent death: I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But
the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach
you everything and remind you of all that I have said to you. (John
14:25-26) When our memories are of
what we have learned along the way of our faith-walk, we are renewed in the
presence of the Christ in us.
The
wisdom of Ecclesiastes gives definition to the rhythms of life. When
the memories are but the weight of past baggage, when remembering only re-opens
old wounds and brings back the pain, when bitterness brews into hatred and
begins to make us hateful persons and we recognize that happening in our life,
there is a time to throw away stones.
All
the colors of our opal gem radiate when a memory stirs in us a renewed
appreciation of beauty in life, a valuing of integrity and compassion,
motivation to grow in character and understanding. There
is a time to gather stones together and lift life to a higher plain.
Amen.
Copyright © 2011 by First Presbyterian Church