“Restless”

John 3:1-17

First Presbyterian Church of Jamestown , New York

The Reverend Thomas A. Sweet

March 20, 2011

Lent 2

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Nicodemus could not put his finger exactly on what was wrong.  On the surface of his life, everything appeared to be good.  His life had worked out well.  He was a leader of the Jews, a member of the Sanhedrin which was the highest governing body of the Jewish people.  He was a man with stature, respect, and an impeccable reputation.  Others looked on him with no small envy.  Most people would be glad to trade places with him.  But something was wrong.  Something on the inside.  Something at the core of his being was not right.  The feeling was growing in him that it was not something minor, not something that easily could be fixed with just a little mental adjustment or emotional tweak or a session or two with a therapist.  It felt like something major.  He had the unsettling sense that he was a passenger on the wrong train.  

Most everyone was pleased with Nicodemus and thought him wise and a great success.  Except Nicodemus.  Nicodemus was not satisfied with the life of Nicodemus.  He felt hollow inside.  He did not know why he was not satisfied.   All his life he had done what others had expected of him and the results were pleasing to most people.  They were glad for what Nicodemus had done for them, what he had taught them, for his leadership, what he had added to their lives.  But Nicodemus was not pleased.  Perhaps he had come to the point in his life when he realized that he could not or would not maintain any longer the pose he felt was required of him.  

Nicodemus was restless.  He had a hard time sleeping at night.  He was scattered and unfocused.  His restlessness set him on a quest that brought him, one night, to Jesus.  I wonder about the allusion to night in this story: “He came to Jesus by night.”  Did Nicodemus go at night because, as a Pharisee, he did not want the people to see him with Jesus since the Pharisees believed that God was to be found in meticulous obedience to the Torah, the Jewish law, and not in some Son of Man or Son of God or whoever people were saying he was?  Did he go at night because he knew that Jesus attracted great crowds by day and so sought a time when he could speak to Jesus undisturbed?  Or could “night” have been a literary device employed by John to emphasize the anguished darkness that was negating Nicodemus’ life and from which he wanted relief even if it meant going to Jesus?  Perhaps it was a combination of all three.  

When we are as inwardly unhappy as Nicodemus apparently was, sick of soul, we begin in time to open ourselves to that which holds some glimmer of hope or healing even if it lies beyond the boundaries of our comfort or tradition.  We climb down a bit from our high horse.  We begin to care a little less what other people think.  We put ourselves “out there” a little more than we are used to doing.  That is what Nicodemus was doing in going to Jesus.  

Nicodemus approaches Jesus respectfully enough: “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.”  Among the signs and wonders about which Nicodemus had heard, there is one that is never mentioned because it never happened.  He had heard that Jesus made the blind to see, the lame to walk, the deaf to hear.  Jesus, Nicodemus had been told, healed the sick and even raised Lazarus from the dead.   But he never made an old person young again.  No one ever has had the chance to any part of his or her life over again.  But if we cannot be young again, Jesus said that we can be born again, and precisely because it is not possible to be young again, it is important to be born again, born anew, born “from above.”  

Nicodemus perhaps had hoped that Jesus could dispense some good advice that would “fix” what was gnawing at him and make him feel better.  Jesus knew that when we feel like Nicodemus, we think we want to change, but often we really don’t.  We just want to feel better about things, feel better about ourselves.  But Jesus knew that Nicodemus needed a more extreme makeover.  Transformation is the term in vogue these days.  So Jesus told Nicodemus what was wrong.  For all of his religiosity, for all of his knowledge about God, for all of his belief in God, for all of his good intentions and law-abiding living, he had missed the one thing needful.  He had missed God, the living God, the One who creates new life in us.  Jesus said to Nicodemus, “No one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.”  

To which Nicodemus replied, “How can anyone be born after having grown old?  Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?”   Though teachers often tell their students that there is no such thing as a stupid question, that one sounds like a stupid question.  Of course, Nicodemus, you cannot enter your mother’s womb a second time.  But we are being too literal if we think that really was what Nicodemus was asking.  I think rather that there was a wistful yearning in Nicodemus that was reaching out to Jesus, as if saying, “You talk about being born from above.  You talk about the change for good in my life that would result.  But in my experience, it is impossible.  You might as well tell me to go back into my mother’s womb and be born again.”  

That is the common dilemma that many of us, if we are honest enough to admit it, experience in our life.  I know I do.  The dilemma is that of a person who wants to change and to be changed but who cannot change himself or herself, and who is afraid of too much change anyway.  “Jesus,” Nicodemus was saying, “You might as well tell me to go back into my mother’s womb and be born again.”  

Jesus told Nicodemus that he could not be young again but he could be born again – born of water, the ritual symbol of God’s forgiveness, and born of the Spirit, the means of conveying God’s power.  Faith is not our own doing.   It is the gift of God.  It is something that God initiates.  It is something that God breathes into our lives.  We cannot manufacture faith, not even by dutifully keeping all of the fine points of the Jewish law, as Nicodemus did.  But we can unclasp our white-knuckled grip on the control we like to have over our lives so that when the wind of God blows our way (in both Hebrew and Greek, the word for wind and breath and Spirit is the same), we can unclasp our white-knuckled grip on the control we like to have over our lives so that when the wind of God blows our way, we shall not resist it.  

Faith is the means by which we are connected to God and respond to God.  “The wind blows were it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.  So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”  Faith is our willingness to trust God and so to let up on the control we like to exert over our lives in favor of our openness to the wind of God.  Nicodemus had wanted the kingdom of God on his own terms.  He wanted the kingdom of God , he wanted the gospel, he wanted his relationship with God to fit into his already established life rather than being remade by God, rather than being born from above, and it does not work that way, and thus Nicodemus’ great inner restlessness.  

That was a constant theme with Jesus.  Another example of it is when, after his resurrection, he appeared to Peter on the beach at the Sea of Tiberias and said to him, “When you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished.  But when you grow older, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.”  That little exchange with Peter is rich with many meanings, but among them is the insinuation that often we think of freedom as being able to do what we want to do when we want to do it and to go where we want to go – exercising control over our lives.  But when we are born from above, Jesus told Peter, we encounter God and now freedom means to live in accord with God’s Spirit and the ways and directions the Spirit-wind is blowing our lives.  Not to do so exacts the very kind of tension that Nicodemus was experiencing in his life that caused him to seek out Jesus.  

See, truth to tell, the Spirit already had been blowing in Nicodemus’ life.  The same with us.  Any desire we have for God, any desire to live a life more in consonance with God and God’s ways, any hunger or thirst we have for God is proof that the Wind already has been blowing our way.  We cannot even know of God or think of God or be drawn to God without God having created that awareness and desire within us.  We respond, or not, but we do not initiate.  

So, will Nicodemus shut himself off from the blowing wind of God’s Spirit or will he give himself to it?  Will he give himself to be born again, born from above, or will he shut the doors and windows of his life against that Wind?  More to the point, what will you do?  It is so tempting to stay stuck in the security of our present lives than to risk the instability that being born from above might bring.  But then we shall never know its joy, either.  Of all that St. Augustine wrote, Augustine who was such an influence on John Calvin, nothing gives me pause so much as when he said, “Our hearts are restless, O God, until ‘til they find their rest in Thee.”  

We do not really know what Nicodemus did.  Later on in John’s gospel, he seemed to offer something of a defense of Jesus when the Pharisees were urging the temple police to arrest Jesus.  And after Jesus was crucified, John says that Nicodemus went with Joseph of Arimathea to anoint and to carry away the body of Jesus.  But we never are told that Nicodemus became anything other or more than an admirer of Jesus.  But Jesus never sought nor seeks our admiration.  He wants, rather, our desire and courage to be born from above.  He is not interested in having people say, “Rabbi, we know you are a teacher come from God” but in having them pray, in having us who seek the freedom and fellowship of God, pray, “Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand…”  

Amen.             

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