“The Darkness Shall Be the Light”

Mark 1:9-15

First Presbyterian Church of Jamestown , New York

The Reverend Thomas A. Sweet

March 1, 2009

Lent 1

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In the spring of the first year of my ministry in the first church I served, Kim and I gathered the high school seniors in our little apartment in Baltimore for several weeks of conversation about a most remarkable book entitled A Severe Mercy.  It is the story of a young couple, Sheldon and Jean Palmer Davis Vanauken, nicknamed Van and Davy respectively, who, when they fell in love, made a vow to keep their precious gift to themselves, sharing everything and allowing nothing to come between them.  Their “shining barrier” as they called it protected their cherished, privileged, secular world from unwelcomed ideas and intrusions, particularly those concerned with God and faith.  But, while attending Oxford University , Van befriended the great Christian writer C. S. Lewis and something happened that neither Van nor Davy could have imagined.  Their “shining barrier” was no defense against the soul’s longing to know and experience God’s love.  It was not long before first Davy, and then Van, became Christians.  But soon after their conversions, Davy contracted a terminal illness and Van railed at God, saying, “If this is how you treat your friends, it is no wonder you have so few of them.”

I thought about that painful cry as I read our passage from Mark this week.  Jesus presented himself for baptism by John and as he came up out of the water he saw the heavens torn open and the Spirit of God descending on him like a dove, and simultaneously he heard a voice from heaven exclaiming to him, “You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.”  That must have been a pretty “heady” if also humbling experience but Jesus was given no time to bask in the glory of it for, Mark tells us, “The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness and he was in the wilderness for forty days, tempted there by Satan, and he was with the wild beasts…”  I wonder if there was not at least a time or two while wrestling with the beasts and the demons that Jesus muttered, “God, if this is how you treat your friends, it is no wonder you have so few of them.”

I wonder why it is that so many people across the years who “believe in God” have the idea that doing so should provide an inoculation against trouble, calamity, confusion, or loss.  I wonder why it is that so many people across the years who “believe in God” reason that life should be easier than it seems to be.  I wonder why it is that so many people across the years who “believe in God” think that there therefore should be a protective façade covering them from danger and misfortune.

There is so much to say.  First of all, there are no heavenly “brownie points” for “believing in God.”  The Bible’s first sentence begins with the words, “In the beginning, God…”  Believing in God is assumed in every word of scripture that comes after that opening phrase.  We live and move and have our being in God in a similar way as fish live and move and have their being in water (and also in God).  There are no “rewards” for a creature “believing in” its Creator.  The issue is “what do you believe about God?”  Believing in God as a personal insurance policy or as a cosmic concierge is a far different matter than believing in God as “the Holy One of Israel whom alone we worship and serve” and “who leads us in paths of righteousness for the sake of his reputation” or, to use the psalmist’s words, “for his name’s sake.” 

My experience across the years, both pastoral and personal, is that when someone claims to have lost his or her faith, it is usually a good thing because invariably it is faith in a God who is much too small or a God of our own projections.  It is a good thing when we are disillusioned about a God we have fashioned according to our whims and wisdoms so that we may have the opportunity to encounter the God revealed in scripture and in Jesus the Christ.  It is not a sign of God’s disfavor nor are we being abandoned by God when we are driven into a wilderness.  It may well be, as was the case with Jesus in the desert, that we are being given a Spirit-led opening to get clearer about our lives and God and how we are to live the next stretch of our lives.  I learned more about God and my own faith in the wilderness into which I was driven following my daughter’s death than in all of the seminary classes I ever took.  I struggled with more personal and theological demons than I could count.  But life happens as it does and either we lose faith or we choose faith.  Faith means trusting God in the tough and terrible as well as the terrific times of our lives.

The wilderness can be a scary place for us to go.  But, in the Bible, it is almost always a place of personal development and/or community formation.  It is, for instance, the place where the ancient Israelites learned to live as free people after half a millennium as slaves in Egypt .  The wilderness was a fearful place for the Israelites as evidenced by their murmurings against God and Moses and by their expressed desire to return to their bondage in Egypt because at least there they knew what to expect.  But the wilderness was where God gave them the Ten Commandments to shape their living and where Moses kept their hope alive until they were ready to enter and to embrace the Promised Land of liberty.  It was in the wilderness that Jesus gained clarity and confidence about who he was and what God would have him do.  It was in a wilderness time that it dawned on the prodigal son that a new morning in his life could come only by returning to the home from which he had thought he wanted to escape.

T.S. Eliot describes the wilderness experience this way:

                                    I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope

                                    For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love

                                    For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith

                                    But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

                                    Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:

                                    So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

When we are driven into in a wilderness experience in our lives, either because of a loss of some kind or the need for change or the feeling that life is not working for us the way we are living it, it is not that God has abandoned us, even if it might feel like it.  It is then that God has come particularly close to us so that we do not stay stuck but rather are afforded the opportunity to grow beyond where we presently are in our lives.

Jesus emerged from the wilderness with clear vision and voice.  He said to all who would listen, “The reign of God is near.  Repent, and believe in the good news of God.”  So let that be a sign of hope to us when we find ourselves in the wilderness.  God is in the midst of it.  Do not be afraid to struggle with your demons there, to wrestle with the hard questions and the difficult choices.  What seems like darkness will become your light, as it did for Jesus, and whatever comes to an end in the wilderness will give way to a fresh beginning, a kind of death and resurrection. 

Being driven into the wilderness is never a time of God-forsakenness but a time when God is especially close to us, a time when God has our well-being in mind and at heart.  Remember that when Jesus was in his wilderness, he struggled with the wild beasts and demons but, Mark also says, “the angels of God waited on him.”  Wilderness times, if we do not run from them, are teachable times, transforming times, maturing times.    

If in our wilderness times it feels like we are losing our faith, then that is probably good.  Faith is given to us by God and we cannot finally lose it any more than we can lose God, but faith can be, and indeed must be, ever deepened, amended, and transformed to meet the challenges, contexts, and circumstances of our lives.    So our wilderness times, if we do not give up on them, will become times for us in which to repent which, as we have said in previous weeks, is about changing our minds – perhaps about our previously held ideas about God or the way we think life should work or the direction we thought our lives were “supposed” to go.  And then we are ready to believe ever more deeply in the good news of God in which we find that life is not meant to serve us but we are meant to serve life.  And we shall find ways to go on where we had thought there were no ways.

If you feel as if life has it out for you or if things do not seem to be going your way or if your faith is flagging, the good news is that you are being, if not exactly driven, then at least nudged into a wilderness time that invites a rewiring and reworking of your thoughts, your perspectives, of the ways you are living.  The wilderness is seldom a pleasant place to be, but the angels of God will be waiting on you as you struggle with your beasts and demons, and you will emerge more deeply in touch with your life and with God than you ever thought possible.  The darkness shall be the light.  I promise you.

Amen.

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